Vetnuus | January 2025 41 Influential Life Coaching CHOOSING PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION Dr Mats Abatzidis B.Sc. B.V.Sc. New Insights Certified VIP Life Coach mats.abatzidis@yahoo.co.za Founder of Influential Life Coaching http://www.matsaba.wix.com/drmatscoach Author of the published book “Life outside your comfort zone. Better and beyond all expectations”. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=searchalias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=Abatzidis http://www.life-coach-directory.co.za/mats-abatzidis Vet's Health I Life Coaching I hope this article finds you and your families well and safe!!! Last month we defined and discussed all about not quitting when you don’t have a choice. We looked at strategies that could aid you in that process and even take some of the pressure and stress away. This month we will look at making progress rather than striving for perfection. I am a perfectionist by nature – some of us are and some aren’t. I cannot tell you why I am a perfectionist, but it is a huge source of procrastination (can even detour you), a distraction, and it predisposes me to be impatient. Then others make more progress than me and I start to get upset with myself which I either bottle in or express in a toxic way inwards or towards other people. Something I struggled with in the beginning, but I am hoping to make it easier for everyone else who may be looking for advice! This article is not only aimed at perfectionists but anyone who tends to procrastinate and overthink their work, as well as doubt the quality of their work. A few years back, I was invited to attend mass at the local church. One of the key messages shared was to stop comparing oneself to others. Some of us do it more often than others, brewing dissatisfaction in ourselves and our work; it is emotionally draining and immature because not only are we making ourselves unhappy, but we fail to be happy for others too. One of the major culprits that encourages comparing oneself to others is social media! If this is true for you personally, I would strongly advise removing social media apps from your mobile devices because it will help you focus better (listen to yourself more, find inspiration, and be more open to learning and experiencing new things without being distracted by other people’s opinions) on work or your personal objectives, as well as break the habit of comparison. At first, you will start thinking less about social media simply because you are not looking at it. Gradually you will become less curious about what other people are up to, then stop thinking about them by habit, thus replacing a bad habit with a good habit. It is immensely freeing!!! As a teenager, I used to think that I was the best at everything. A mixture of immature arrogance, ignorance and the need to be “perfect”. My wise father once pointed out that no matter how good I was, there would always be somebody better than me, so it only made sense to be a better version of myself and compete with my own records and accomplishments. Later in life, I wrote and published my book, and everyone kept asking if it was going to become a bestseller. I would proudly announce that I didn’t want it to become a bestseller. I wanted my book to reach people all over the world in places I would never get to go, which it did. In its first week, it reached all seven continents and helped people I had never met or heard of. I achieved my goal. Being a nobody was not sad, but simply liberating!!! I embraced being a nobody. After all, we all start as nobody! One of the aspects of life coaching I address with my clients is setting goals and sharing goals with at least one person to create accountability. However, for me personally, it takes me back to perfectionism because I have somebody expecting results from me and matching their standards (comparing). For some people, it may even cause performance anxiety and additional stress. So, for me, unless I need a mentor, investor, or teammate, I keep my goals to myself and focus on doing rather than talking. That means I work with freedom and based on what feels right. The disclaimer here, is that sharing what you are working on may be valuable at times too. Do your research and think carefully about how to go about achieving your objective(s). Only share it with the right people at the right time. Please always check if sharing is doing more harm than good. As for me, keeping my work to myself helped me focus on the right things, at my pace, free from distracting expectations, regardless of the size of my goals. When I was turned down by the University of Pretoria for both a BSc and BVSc degrees (based on a psychometric evaluation), my overarching goal in life became to get myself back on track, get into vet school and prove them wrong. I channelled all my emotions and energy into action. I worked with a diary/checklist, focused, and finished one thing after another. Spent a lot of time getting into vet school (3 years), but my focus was what mattered. Nothing sharpens focus better than action and momentum, and nothing motivates more than results. I got my BSc Cum Laude and used that to gain entrance into vet school. Spend half a day at the beginning of a month and identify which goals you want to focus on. Then, set milestones with related projects that’ll get you closer to achieving them. Then tick off one milestone at a time, until the list is done. The list avoids confusion, provides motivation, tracks your progress, and shows you how to get the job done. Progress over perfection (wink wink!). Next month, we will continue looking at more ideas for improving our quality of life and overall performance both at work and at home. v
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