Vetnuus | September 2024 43 I hope this article finds you and your families well and safe!!! Last month we discussed connecting person to person in an age dominated by convenience, social media and so many other anti-social behaviours and habits that have sneaked into our lives. In addition, I shared some tips with you on how to go about developing better connections with people. In this month’s edition, I would like to explore “the good old days”, a trick that most of us fall into! If I think back to my studying days I cannot realistically compare those days to my current situation. As a student, I was in a very fortunate position that I just had to study and pass every year, while the rest was provided by my parents. The next stage of my life was starting work – new, adventurous, with lots of learning curves and difficulties but in general a very positive period as I started to earn money for a change as a fully qualified veterinarian. Within a year I got married and life changed again. The next 5 years of being a young, recently married couple was full of entertainment, making our own exciting decisions and discovering lots of new things as a couple. All these life stages had their unique challenges, learnings and rewards. The point I am trying to make is that, when we compare the past to the present, we notice that many things that challenged/bothered us in the past are no longer a problem, making the past look brighter. Our present problems were often not part of the past, while the problems of the past do not even feature when we consider our current concerns, therefore, the past has a good chance of being remembered as the “good old days.” Unfortunately, it is a strategy that encourages pessimism. There are additional flaws with this habit/strategy: • Comparisons of the present to the past are likely to reveal the shortcomings rather than the accomplishments of the present. • Our initial dissatisfaction is compounded by the psychological and natural tendency to give more weight to losses than to gains. • We also compare our own situation to that of others. A fundamental, psychological habit I always teach my clients about, is that of comparing ourselves to others. Negative social comparisons with people we know, but even worse, with people that we have never met, often override positive comparisons of our personal situation over time. Even if we’re making more money now than we ever did before, for example, we’ll still probably feel that things are getting worse if we look around and see other people who are making a lot more. The reality, however, is that we can control our minds. Here are some tips to use reflection constructively and positively: • Bad memories have lessons buried in them – learning those lessons and focusing prevents those events from reoccurring. • Focusing on the good feelings you once had will brighten your dim view of the present. That is to say, appreciate the good feelings in detail to maximise the benefits but keep the bad ones abstract. • The basic rule of thumb is that we assume that positive things are more (and negative things less) likely to happen to ourselves than to happen to others. If you have heard of the Law of Attraction and understand it, then this likelihood of positive events is increased when we’re elated and decreased when we’re depressed. • You can always get what you want by revising your beliefs about what you have. I have discussed beliefs and their modification (strengthening or supportive beliefs or eradication of detrimental beliefs) in previous articles at length and this would be a good time to review that information. We are living in an increasingly demanding society. If you have a lot of stress in your life, find ways to reduce it, such as learning a few timemanagement techniques, introducing regular exercise and time to yourself, or using breathing techniques. Here are some more tips: 1. Doing things that you enjoy is good for your emotional well-being. Simple activities like watching sports with a friend, having a soak in the bath, or meeting up with friends for coffee can all improve your day. 2. The best way to improve your self-esteem is to treat yourself as you’d treat a valued friend, in a positive but honest way. 3. Making healthy choices about your diet can make you feel emotionally stronger. You’re doing something positive for yourself, which lifts your self-esteem. A good diet helps your brain and body work efficiently, too. 4. Around 7 to 8 hours is the average amount of sleep an adult needs for their body and mind to fully rest. 5. Talking things through helps you to release tension, rather than keeping it inside. It helps strengthen your relationships and connect with people. 6. Building resilience is what allows you to cope with life’s ups and downs. Making something worthwhile out of painful times helps your resilience grow. Next month, we will continue looking at more ideas for improving our quality of life and overall performance both at work and at home. v Influential Life Coaching THE GOOD OLD DAYS Dr Mats Abatzidis B.Sc. B.V.Sc. New Insights Certified VIP Life Coach mats.abatzidis@yahoo.co.za Founder of Influential Life Coaching http://www.matsaba.wix.com/drmatscoach Author of the published book “Life outside your comfort zone. Better and beyond all expectations”. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=searchalias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=Abatzidis http://www.life-coach-directory.co.za/mats-abatzidis Vet's Health I Life Coaching
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