Vetnuus | December 2024 19 Influential Life Coaching WHEN QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION Dr Mats Abatzidis B.Sc. B.V.Sc. New Insights Certified VIP Life Coach mats.abatzidis@yahoo.co.za Founder of Influential Life Coaching http://www.matsaba.wix.com/drmatscoach Author of the published book “Life outside your comfort zone. Better and beyond all expectations”. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=searchalias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=Abatzidis http://www.life-coach-directory.co.za/mats-abatzidis Vet's Health I Life Coaching I hope this article finds you and your families well and safe!!! Last month we defined and discussed all about motivation and self-discipline. We looked at them individually and the option of combining them. This month we will look at situations when quitting is not an option for you and what we should be thinking about when that occurs to guide us through that experience safely. I remember growing up and having my parents take care of me when I got sick for two weeks during high school. However, more recently, that role has been reversed. What happens when your parent(s) are the ones with an illness? How do you handle the emotional toll that comes with it? My mom who lives alone, recently had a huge operation that was essential, and I am her caretaker. Maybe you are a single parent with a sick child, or a one-man practice keeping the practice viable, or maybe you are the sole provider for your family. I am basing the article on my experience, but it applies to all the latter scenarios. Here is how to cope with a parent’s illness without falling apart - allow yourself to express your feelings. You are not a robot - you are human. It is normal to have many feelings about your parents being ill. And there will be times that you feel heavy waves of emotions. It will always be harder managing those feelings when you don’t healthily release them – here are some ideas: talk with loved ones about your parent’s health and the feelings that come up; spend time with friends and family that you trust and can confide in; write your thoughts and feelings down in a journal; express yourself through art or dance; talk with a mental health therapist; join a support group for people with chronically ill parents. Stress levels are higher for those who have chronically ill loved ones, and that puts you at risk of developing your own mental health and chronic illnesses (i.e., heart disease, cancer, autoimmune diseases). Maintaining a healthy lifestyle and practising self-care is a priority. Eat a healthy diet (prepare meals ahead of time or select healthier quick meal options). Stay physically active (at least one hour daily) - exercise helps to reduce stress, relax your muscles, and improve mental clarity. Have fun – by taking your mind somewhere else to cope with your parent’s illness. Go out for dinner with a friend, watch a movie or attend a concert. If going out is too much, spend time with a close friend at home. Maintain a schedule - depending on your involvement with your parent’s care, your schedule may change. It is in your best interest to keep certain expected things in your schedule to reduce stress as your parent’s health brings on unexpected challenges. However, remember to be flexible with yourself and take dedicated time off when needed. The challenges of your life (work, school, your own family, finances, etc.) can get hectic when you add a parent’s illness into the equation. Trying to keep up with all these things can make you start to question your own abilities and strength over time. This is the time to remember that you are only one person, and you cannot manage it all. Ask family members/colleagues/your employer or others in your community to help take certain responsibilities off your plate. You would be surprised how people would be happy to step in. The strategy is to protect your mind from staying in a dark place. It is hard to witness your parent in pain or being a different person because of their illness. Show self-compassion to alleviate your suffering, by responding to mistakes with kindness, and surround yourself with supportive people (so you are not alone in your stress), while you permit yourself to be flexible. Give yourself intentionally positive things to focus on – things that motivate you to keep going. Whether it is books, hobbies, recalling positive memories or thinking about your circumstances in ways that help you deal with it calmly, a change of mindset can make all the difference. Focusing on the possibilities rather than the limitations of the situation is essential. Acceptance transforms how you respond to their illness, shifting your focus from alleviating their pain to supporting them and yourself to get through the challenge. This is tough and takes time, with some days feeling harder than others. Daily expressions of gratitude can benefit your mental and physical health - decrease depression, anxiety, difficulties with chronic pain and risk of disease. Gratitude also promotes joy, kindness, and calmness, which helps cope with the emotions that you are experiencing. Face your concerns head-on. One of the most helpful ways to do this is to plan with your parent on how to support their health journey. Next month, we will continue looking at more ideas for improving our quality of life and overall performance both at work and at home. v
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