VN November 2022

Vetnuus | November 2022 32 I hope this article finds you and your families well and safe!!! Last month we discussed the concept of having an appropriate perspective when reflecting on your various experiences. This month we will extend on that concept furthermore. Two men, both seriously ill, were in the same hospital room. One was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon, and his bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man was in traction and immobilised flat on his back, unable to sit up, and a half wall between the beds kept him from seeing the window. Over time, the men got to know each other very well and talked for hours. Every afternoon, when the man by the window was allowed to sit up, he described to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window in amazing detail. The man who had to lie flat began to live for those one-hour periods when his hospital stay would be enlivened by all the activity and colour of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, ducks and swans swimming while children sailed model boats. Young lovers walked hand in hand among the flowers that were of every colour of the rainbow. Large trees graced the lawn, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the days passed, the man who could not move and look out the window began to envy his roommate. As much as he appreciated the descriptions offered, he began to wish he had the bed by the window. He began to resent his roommate and, finally, felt desperate to replace his roommate by the window. One morning, the nurse came into the room to find the man by the window had died peacefully in his sleep. She sadly called the hospital attendants to help her remove the body. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he might move to the bed next to the window. The nurse gladlymoved the patient across. Theman eventually built enough courage to lift himself up to look out the window. Finally, he would enjoy seeing the park below and all its activity. What he saw was a blank wall ! He complained bitterly to the nurse when she returned. The nurse responded,“Oh my…didn’t you know? Your former roommate was blind. He couldn’t even see the wall.” Then she added, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you”. Have you ever felt the emotions that this story conveys? Have you ever wanted to trade places with someone else due to bitter envy? Have you ever been bitterly disappointed by an experience that did not match your expectations? Have you ever received encouragement and failed to appreciate it at the time? If we live a life obsessed with what others have, we are very likely to miss out on the joy of receiving what others are trying to give us. Choose to be thankful for what you have right now, today! A grateful heart puts us in a position to bloom and not wilt…to attract others rather than repel others…and to run with a clear focus toward our goals. Here is the truth. Better contacts, circle of friends, personality, territories, spouse, children, luck, and mentors are not what is holding us back from succeeding. It is our attitude of jealousy and envy that is holding us back. Circumstances are neither good nor bad…they just are. Using events to lay blame and justify failure does not help us. Only taking responsibility for our progress or lack thereof will be constructive and give us back the control we wish to have. What we do, think, and believe during a circumstance today sets us up for tomorrow. I have always told my clients that it doesn’t matter what I think of them, their chances of success, or whether I believe in them…it only matters if they believe in themselves to succeed. We each must decide the journey we wish to have…and then choose to go on it with all our energy, strength, perseverance, and an attitude of “ I WILL continue on this journey to the best of my ability, intelligence and skill”. Every one of us must conclude that no journey is ever over until we stop moving and quit. It is when we quit that we fail . Don’t try to be someone else. Don’t wish for other peoples’ circumstances or attributes. Don’t compare yourself to others or allow jealousy to take root. The bed by the window may not be a better bed after all! And even if it is, it’s not YOUR bed. Look for the good in your own circumstances. Learn to take a break if you are tired and not quit! Focus on your own journey and never stop moving! Next month, we will continue looking at other concepts and ideas and improving our quality of life and overall performance at work and home. v Influential Life Coaching BLOOMWHERE YOU ARE PLANTED Dr Mats Abatzidis B.Sc. B.V.Sc. New Insights Certified VIP Life Coach mats.abatzidis@yahoo.co.za Founder of Influential Life Coaching http://www.matsaba.wix.com/drmatscoach Author of the published book“Life outside your comfort zone. Better and beyond all expectations”. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref =nb_sb_noss?url=search- alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=Abatzidis http://www.life-coach-directory.co.za/mats-abatzidis