VN September 2020

Vetnuus | September 2020 14 This month, Tony Kossuth provided us with some humour he found on the Veterinary Humor Facebook page ( https://m.facebook.com/story. php?story_fbid=125611580969701&id=116378135226379&sfnsn=sc wspmo&extid=9J12JbrhHJwUGKKf) I am sure that many of our colleagues can identify with this – but also that there aremany out therewho can contribute. Let us have your stories sowe can share them! Dear client, Welcome to our practice.The following are some suggestions of how to make things most pleasant for our staff. • As youhave already figuredout your scheduledappointment time is just a suggestion. Feel free to ignore it and do as you please. • If you are not going to show up, please do not call. We like the suspense of trying to figure out what you are going to do. Sometimes we run bets on it. So, as you can see, calling and informing us of your intentions would just take the fun out of our day. • Verbal abuse is always appreciated. If possible, wait till the waiting room is full. Please be creative in your profanity, we all like to expand our vocabulary. • Donot put your dogon a leashor your cat in a carrier. Just let them looseas soonas youwalk in.The staffenjoys a littlepandemonium. • Bringasmanysmallchildrenaspossible.Threeormoreispreferred. If you do not have that many borrow from your neighbours (look for the most poorly behaved). Make sure they all have juice and crayons because we love to clean. Also, we encourage them to jump on the furniture, play rough with the hospital cat, and go through the drawers. • Do not bring any prior records as we request. Calling other clinics gives us time to catch upwith old friends. • We are just kiddingwhenwe suggest that you bring stool or urine. That is gross.Wewill just get it offour waiting roomfloor after your dog relieves him/herself everywhere. • Please feel free to stay on your cell phone. Handless headsets are preferred because it reallymakes it challenging to figure out if you are talking tous or thepersonon thephone. Make sure to call back later and ask us questions about all the things we were trying to explain. • When giving information about your pet be as vague as possible. The doctor is psychic and can communicate with your pet, so it is really just a formality anyway. • Be sure to insist we follow your breeder’s recommendations. Especially about anaesthesia and vaccines. Our schooling and training really do not teach us much, so we appreciate the guidance. • Give medications as you see fit. We just put instruction labels on them because the label printer is cool. We understand that when the condition does not resolve it is our fault not yours. • Do not tell us all the other vets had tomuzzle your dog till after he/ she tries to bite. Keeps our reflexes sharp. Besides, it is more of a challenge tomuzzle a dog once he/she is all worked up. • If your cat is hissing and upset, please put your hands and face as close to his/her mouth as possible. He/she would never bite you. If a bite did occur fromyour own stupidity, it is our fault anyway. • Ignore the ‘employees only’ signs. Just wander around as you please. Stick your hands in all the cages. If your child is wandering around, we prefer him/her to be barefoot. • If your pet is sick, please wait a minimum of three days before having him/her seen. Also, be sure to exhaust all treatments available over the counter or at the pet store before bringing him/ her in to be examined. Oh, and ten minutes before close on a Saturday is the perfect time to call and tell us you are coming in. Tony shared thiswithhis friends, Mike andHelenDowney, who added: Reading this advice to patient owners, we had a look at the diary we kept in Somerset West. We have an account here that we sent out on 5 th October 1971 for R2.50 for a consultation and medication to Mnr Bellingan of the Strand for a dog with an old ear wound. Mnr Bellingan eventually paid 6months later but on the bottomof the a/cwaswritten ‘ I did not request an injection, only stitching of the ear. The infection has now affected his kidneys and pus forms in his eyes’. Yes, I do miss those days! Actually, because we lived in , what was, a small village, we had a lovely relationship with our patient owners and rarely had problems mentioned in the Facebook story. Tonight,wewillbethinkingofyouasAidaninsistedonushavingawhite South African wine. He has chosen Gooseberry Bush from Robertson Winery. If you happen to go to Roberson, pop into theWinery shop on the main road. You will be invited to taste their wines by none other than Dr Tommy Foulkes. We saw him a couple of years ago and he was in great form.We also sawNico Schutte there (kyk die fotos, hoor) Helen and Mike v Veterinary Humour